By
John P. Splinter, Ph.D.
It may sound harsh, but today’s
sexualization of our culture could cost your child’s or grandchild’s life. This isn’t “crying wolf,” it’s reality. You may ask, “How?”
The first way is through STDs. They’re running rampant among kids 12-18.
Some of them are incurable, and some (AIDS, HPV) are fatal.
In April of 2008 the Center for Disease Control reported that 
25%
of American girls between ages 14-18, now carry at least one STD.
And we’re told that 75% of new cases of Herpes (incurable) are found
in the mouths of teens. One Midwest
teen’s sexual map involved 286 sexually active teens before one of them reached
him. Sexually active kids today have
a 50% chance of catching an STD.
A second way our kids are dying, is
suicide. Because the pre-frontal cortex
(front brain) of humans is not fully developed until approximately age 24, kids
don’t have the adult skills of processing grief at the end of a relationship. Suicide rates in girls are three-times higher,
and in boys eight-times higher, after they end a sexually intimate
relationship.
A third way our kids are dying is through
criminal predators. Some kids just
disappear. Later it’s found they had a
“secret friend” on Facebook or My Space - a secret friend who turned out to be
a 43-year-old pedophile posing as a 17-year-old from another school
district. Perhaps their bodies are
found; perhaps not. One St. Louis area
police officer tells of making 52 arrests within 18 months, of adults
attempting to sexually use kids. That’s
one cop in just one jurisdiction! Do the
math.
This sexualization of our culture is killing
our children. Yet the larger picture is
that it’s setting them up for massive relational failure in their adult
years. Pornography has become a scourge. Did you know that:
* Porn in the U.S. is a 12-15 billion dollar
industry. That’s more revenue generated than major league baseball, football,
and basketball, combined.
* The average age of exposure to porn, is
eleven. (One study found it was eight.)
* Porn has been found to be just as
addictive as cocaine.
* The porn industry is targeting kids 5 to 9
in hopes to create lifetime addicts.
* The age of greatest porn use on the
internet today, is kids 12-17.
This ‘pornification’ has severe spin-offs
once these kids reach adulthood. Some of
the spin-offs include: Increased divorce; Massive reduction in respect for
women; Increased violence against women, and increased criminal sexual activity
against children.
In a new escalation of our culture’s
sexualization, research has found that 20% of high school kids are now using
cell phones to either access, create, or pass along pornographic material. When we say “create,” we refer to kids taking
nude frontal pictures of themselves or their friends, and passing them along to
friends, or posting them on the Internet.
Tips for Protecting Your
Children
If you’re raising kids today, be aware -
it’s a different world than the one in which you grew up. It’s unfortunate that in today’s culture we
must be so hyper-alert, but this is the world in which our children are
living. In an attempt to help parents
and grandparents protect their children, here are some tips from the National
Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families.
1. Put Internet filters onto every computer
in the house, to keep porn out of the home.
To
review several types of filters, go to www.filterreview.com.
2. Never allow your kids to use the web cam
on a computer unless you are present supervising.
3. Regularly check all computers. Monitor
their histories to see where they’ve been.
If the History has been erased, you have a problem. Ask why it has been erased.
4. Watch for telephone calls from unknown people or phone numbers.
Many pedophiles are expert at tracking down child victims.
5. Watch out if your child receives gifts,
mail or packages from people unknown to you.
Pedophiles often send gifts either in advance of, or in thanks for, a
child providing sexual pictures or favors.
6. If you find porn on your computer, find
out where it came from and who ordered or sent it. Beware, porn producers share data bases.
7. Become familiar with the FBI website for
parents, kids and safety tips:
www.fbi.gov.
8. Keep all computers in open spaces like
kitchens, with screens facing the open room.
9. Keep TVs and anything Internet capable
(computers, cell phones) out of children’s bedrooms.
10. Require that all cell phones be left in
the kitchen overnight for recharging, not in teens’ bedrooms.
12. Warn your children about social
networking places such as MySpace, Face Book, chat rooms, etc. Make sure they understand to never give out personal
information (name, address, phone number, e-address, their school’s name, etc.).
13. Never, ever have “secret” friendships
with strangers on the net. Texting with strangers is more dangerous than being
in social networking sites because it’s more isolated.
14. Get and study the National Coalition’s
booklet series titled, “What Every Parent Needs To Know.” ($10. through www.nationalcoalition.org.)
15. If your kids are in public schools,
become a strong and unyielding advocate for morality-based sex education. Attend PTO meetings; speak with teachers,
administrators and school board members.
There IS no such thing as “safe sex.”
One may prevent pregnancy, but STDs are ubiquitous.
16. Enquire about your kids’ friends, and
their parents, and their home life, and their values.
17. Get all porn out of your home -
magazines, books, pictures, videos, DVDs and either unsubscribe to, or block TV
channels that run PG-13, R or X rated movies.
18. Closely monitor all cell phone call
numbers on every monthly statement.
Watch especially for 1-900 numbers.
19.
Go to Nationalcoalition.org website for links to helpful porn-fighting
organizations or websites. If you’re a female, check out
www.iCarecoalition.org.
Final tip: Don’t just have “the sex talk”
with your kids. Research has found that
having one conversation about sex with one’s children, even if it’s sincere and
in-depth, doesn’t do much to influence kids when dating. Rather, have weekly conversations with your
kids about sex. These conversations
don’t have to be lengthy, but the broad topic of sexuality needs to be
regularly put “on the table” in your household.
Your first attempts at talking about sexual issues with your children
may be embarrassing - so get over it, you’re an adult. Research has found that parents often talk
with their kids about drugs, booze, and smoking – but they choke up when it
comes to sex. Big mistake. Just do it, and do it regularly.
If we can be of any help to you, we’re here
for you. We have written material for
parents, and also for churches. If you
want to contact us, here’s how:
The National Coalition for the Protection of
Children and Families
PO Box 220249
Kirkwood, MO
63122
314-667-8492
Website: www.nationalcoalition.org
Dr, John Splinter is the St. Louis Executive
Director of the Missouri chapter of The National Coalition for the Protection
of Children and Families.
