Courtship Conference February 16-17

By Hollie Silberhorn

Courtship is just something they did in the old days, right? Not so according to the organizers of this year’s Contemporary Courtship Conference which will equip parents, teens, and church leaders to apply biblical teachings on romance.

“We have seen a re-evaluation of recreational dating in recent years,” said Tom McKnight, one of the conference coordinators. “Many young adults who have been through the modern Christian dating scene are saying that there must be another way. This life-changing conference combines biblical teaching, live testimonies and practical ideas to help address those issues and hopefully will inspire hope for those seeking to honor God with their romantic relationships.”

The Contemporary Courtship Conference will be held from 7-10 p.m., Friday, February 16 and 9 a.m.-5 p.m., Saturday, February 17 at Pillar in the Valley, 229 Chesterfield Business Parkway, in Chesterfield, Missouri. The cost is $25 per person or $45 per family (meals not included). For more information or to pre-register go to www.contemporarycourtship.org, e-mail info@renewingfamilies.org, or call 636-240-4412, ext. 225. Seating is limited, so register soon!

Some of the topics which will be covered include: “Beyond Sexual Abstinence,” “Alternatives to Recreational Dating,” “A Father’s Role in Courtship,” and “Preparing Sons and Daughters for Marriage.” The event will be presented by Liberty Leadership Institute and The Center for Family Renewal.

“People sometimes get caught in the terminology and definitions” McKnight says, but contemporary courtship is all about the heart, not rules. “How can we inspire our young people to long to glorify God not just by maintaining physical purity but also in remaining emotionally set apart for their future mate?” This is just one of the things that separates contemporary courtship from recreational dating said McKnight.

When this conference is over, you should be equipped to develop a biblical model for shepherding your children into a godly marriage. You will get practical ideas on how to create an atmosphere of purity, modesty and sexual security in your home and church. You can help your young people avoid the pitfalls of recreational dating and be able to teach them God’s perspective on marriage and sexuality.

A key way to do all this is to have young people and parents who have chosen a courtship model over recreational dating speak about their experiences. The conference will include speakers who used the courtship model and have gotten married as well.

Sixteen-year-old Nina Bruns, who has attended past conferences with her parents, said it was great to hear other couples’ stories and get their perspectives rather than a ‘do’ and ‘don’t’ list. “It was one of the most helpful parts of the conference,” she said.

Parents are encouraged to bring their teens, even their young teens along, to the conference. Lesa Bruns, Nina’s mother, said this was important. “It’s good to take the kids. They can hear the same things we are hearing and better understand why we are making the decisions we do,” she said.

It is also incredibly important to have fathers involved and attending the conference is one way to do that, said Rob Witty, a previous conference speaker. “If dad is not involved, forget it, especially if he has sons. If he’s not going to win his son’s heart over about the issue, his mom can’t do it. It’s also important to have a real relationship with your kids. I can’t just descend on my boys with a bunch of rules. As a father of three sons, I have to convince them that I am on their team.”

Rob’s oldest son, Justus, 19, also realizes there are more than just bodies, or the physical part of purity, involved. “Courtship is an attitude,” said Justus. “It’s not about a rule book; it’s about genuinely caring for the other person. Are you going to protect her heart or engage it before it’s time?” That is a question Justus says young people must ask themselves.

A 16-year-old boy has nothing to offer a girl but a thrill, agreed Rob. “Recreational dating is all about thrills, but thrills don’t last,” he said. “Is that fair to her?”

Another teenage girl who has been to a conference and brought up to embrace the idea of contemporary courtship said she really didn’t see the importance of maintaining a pure body and heart until recently. She said she had been interested in a guy and let her guard down regarding her depth of relationship with him. “After I realized what I had gotten myself into, I thought it was better right now that I not be all-consumed with boys but focus on other things like school and loving God. Life is simpler that way.”

As mentioned earlier, the Contemporary Courtship Conference will be held from 7-10 p.m., Friday, February 16 and 9 a.m.-5 p.m., Saturday, February 17 at Pillar in the Valley, 229 Chesterfield Business Parkway, in Chesterfield, Missouri. The cost is $25 per person or $45 per family (meals not included). For more information or to pre-register go to www.contemporarycourtship.org, e-mail info@renewingfamilies.org, or call 636-240-4412, ext. 225.