Parents, Teens and Sex

By Emily Limbaugh

    Parents and pastors, did the headline catch your attention? I hope so because we’re launching a new initiative and it involves you! After careful thought and consideration, Pregnancy Resource Centers (PRC) has decided to expand the reach of our current Best Choice Sexual Integrity Program. Best Choice exists to educate and equip young people with the necessary tools to avoid the heartbreak of unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and emotional stress. Our goal is to give young people a biblical view of sexuality by educating them on the “whole person” approach. By this, I mean, we want to empower them to live a life of sexual integrity not just in the physical sense, but also socially, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Here’s where you come in. We want to multiply our reach by bringing this fast-paced, fun and informative training to you!

    As a parent, you are the most influential factor in your child’s life. Young people desire intimacy and the opportunity to communicate about the most important things in life – including sex. Talking about sex doesn’t have to be a fear-filled challenge; it can be an incredible opportunity to develop a more meaningful and rewarding relationship with your child. With the saturation of sexual images in today’s culture, children will learn about sex somewhere, but research shows that they want to learn about it from you!

    Understanding adolescent cognitive development has huge implications for parents, and recent breakthroughs in neuroscience will forever change our understanding of adolescents and the role adults play in their lives. Research from the Medical Institute of Sexual Health (MISH), 2005, shows that cognitive maturity occurs in the mid-twenties, and includes the following.

    Quite literally, teenagers do not have the brain cell connections to perform judgment calculations. This means that, if parents, youth leaders and educators fail to give adolescents guidance (and, if necessary, discipline), if we fail to help them make the best decisions for themselves and for society, we abandon them at a time when their brains are not completely developed and they are incapable of truly mature judgment. As a result, they are left to receive guidance from their peers and today’s pop culture.

    We fail young people when we give them “just the facts” and say “you decide” without guiding them to and supporting them in making the best decisions. We fail them when we expect them to control their impulses and avoid risky behaviors, when we abandon them at critical decision-points to their own minds – minds with a limited capacity for abstract thinking.

    Dr. Jay Giedd, MISH, says his research has shaped the way he parents his own children. It has made him comfortable with the fact that giving guidance to his children, even through their college years, is not “butting in.” Parents need to understand this and take it into consideration as their adolescents mature, intervening to help prevent “damaging” mistakes whenever possible.

    The parent should be a teenager’s number one source of information, encouragement and support when dealing with sexuality. Because statistics are constantly being updated and the culture is rapidly changing, we want to provide parents with the most up-to-date and medically accurate information. We are dedicated to training parents so they can comfortably help their teen develop wisdom, avoid dangerous risky behaviors, and have the brightest future. After presenting to over 5,000 teenagers each year for nearly six years, we have a good sense of how teens think, what they are facing and how to reach them effectively. Now we want to share that with you!

    As a further resource, we want to educate and train youth pastors to act as a support to parents and provide a sense of accountability to teenagers.

    The following quotes are from individuals who heard the Best Choice message: “The message of sexual purity and all that it encompasses, apart from the Gospel of Christ, is the one thing that I wish someone had shared with me while I was a teen. There is no subject more relevant to a healthy marriage and family!” (Youth Minister, Crosspointe Fellowship); “I learned that you can start over and change even if you’ve had sex.” (Teen, First Evangelical Free Church); “Condoms don’t protect like I thought they did. Thanks for being so honest. Why didn’t anyone tell me this stuff before?” (Teen, Clayton Community Church).

    If you are interested in getting your church involved, please contact Emily Limbaugh at (314) 783-3040 x229 or e-mail me at emilylimbaugh@prcmo.net

    Remember, your child will learn about sex from someone. The question is - will it be from you?