The Art of “Calling Out”
By
Dr. Jeff Myers
“Does
not wisdom call? Does not understanding raise her voice? On the heights beside
the way, at the crossroads she takes her stand; beside the gates in front of
the town, at the entrance of the portals she cries aloud: To you, O men, I
call, and my cry is to the children of man. O simple ones, learn prudence; O
fools, learn sense.” (Prov. 8:1-5 (ESV))
Young Americans are in a crisis of indecision, confronted by more choices
than ever before, and lacking a guidance system to give them direction. The
biblical prescription for this is to “call them out” to a life of wisdom,
significance, and influence. But how?
The most important thing one generation can do is to equip the next
generation to lead. As pastor Andy Stanley says, “There is no success without
succession.” It 
is
up to today’s Christian adults to have an eternal impact in the lives of tomorrow’s
culture-shaping leaders.
We’ve
tried lots of things: books, videos, camps, arena events,
curriculum...yet today’s young people seems as directionless as ever. Why?
Because young people cannot attain significance without the
personal, guiding hand of a significant older person.
This
has certainly been true with parent/child relationships. But
what about other young people? What about those from broken homes—the
lonely, hurting kids? Jesus said in Matthew
10:42, “Whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because
he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.” God’s
truth is lived-out truth. Today’s
Christian youth not only need God’s truth taught to them, they need to see it
lived out in a personal way that infuses life with joy and direction.
Betwixt
and Between: The Quarter-Life Crisis
A
Time Magazine article on the “Twixters” was quite revealing about exactly why today’s
young people are so directionless: “The twixters
aren’t lazy, the argument goes, they’re reaping the
fruit of decades of American affluence and social liberation. This new period
is a chance for young people to savor the pleasures of irresponsibility, search
their souls and choose their life paths. But more historically and economically
minded scholars see it differently. They are worried that twixters
aren’t growing up because they can’t. Those researchers fear that whatever
cultural machinery used to turn kids into grownups has broken down, that
society no longer provides young people with the moral backbone and the
financial wherewithal to take their rightful places in the adult world.” That’s
incredibly insightful. We’ve given our kids everything except what they need
the most, a guiding hand as they begin to navigate the paths of life.
The
Greatest Danger to Young Christians
One
of my on-going concerns is the number of Christian young people who abandon
their faith in the face of overwhelming opposition from the culture. But the
letters I get from Christians at college aren’t just about defending the faith.
They’re about finding people who live out
their faith in a gracious, consistent fashion. Take, for example, a note I
received from a Christian young man at college: “Dr. Myers, I had to e-mail you
because your message rings so true. I burn for influence from older, stronger
Christian men—just to spend time with them...I’m desperate for another man or
men to draw on. And I’m not the only one who sees it, either. The students
around me are starved for influence outside the world of 18-22 year olds.”
Many
young people walk away from their faith because they feel it can’t be defended,
or because they just don’t care anymore. But there is another group that causes
me just as much concern: young people who keep going
to church and reading their Bible,
but have no meaningful sense of direction in life. They’re like soldiers
without a mission—no wonder they are discouraged.
How
to Call Young People Out
I
believe there are four biblical steps to “calling out” a young person from foolishness
to wisdom. These steps work whether you’re calling out your own children, those
in your Sunday school class, or even other young people in your neighborhood.
Acknowledge what you see in them.
Not
every adult is wise, of course, but there is a certain kind of wisdom that only
years of experience entitle you to possess. Part of that wisdom is the ability
to discern the God-designed qualities in a person.
If
a younger person comments on the qualities of another younger person, it may be
viewed as a nice compliment, but it is usually not believed. Young people
intuitively understand that their peers do not know anything more than they
themselves know.
But
when an adult acknowledges what he sees in a young person, it’s remarkable.
Whenever I do this, even with other adults, I notice that they grow very still
and listen carefully. It’s as if they draw life from the simple recognition of
God’s image in them.
Kids
instinctively are drawn toward the significant people who seem to know what is
going on. If these significant others are peers, then the young person will
become peer dependent. If they are adults, however, they may become open to
receiving counsel.
Try
this at home this week. Catch your kids doing something well and compliment
them on it. Talk specifically about
what you noticed, the character they exhibited, and how that makes you feel.
Invite them to walk with you.
Perhaps
nothing was more significant about Jesus’ style of discipleship than the fact
that He was just with his disciples.
They walked everywhere—there must have been hours and hours of conversation,
teaching, questioning, confronting, encouraging.
Gunter
Krallman in his book Mentoring for Mission calls this “transparent with-ness.” Everyone
knows that “with-ness” is good in theory. After all, no one will claim to
believe that the next generation is unimportant and should be abandoned. Yet
most adults act as if it is so—they leave the personal contact up to the
“experts” and fail in the thing that is most important: just being there.
Walking with a young person is not rocket science. Whatever you’re
doing, do it with someone else instead of alone. Take your children out to
breakfast. Invite
families
to join you at your home and organize activities for the children. Invite
some college students to join your family for Sunday dinner. Take the neighborhood
kids to a ball game.
One
of my friends, Gary Terashita, loves looking at stars
through a telescope. He often invites neighborhood children to come have a
look, and uses the opportunity to talk about God’s amazing creation! Gary’s
wife also has a sure-fire way to bless kids in the neighborhood. She keeps her
garage freezer stocked with push-up pops. It’s amazing how many kids manage to
find their way to the Terashita home on summer
afternoons.
If
you don’t think that “with-ness” really makes a difference, I invite you to
hang out with me when I’m working with young people. Just being there can make a world of difference.
Challenge them to go to a higher level.
The
simplest kind of challenge is to say, “I have learned some things about ‘X’
that I think would really help you, and I would like to find a time when I can
share them with you.”
Some
challenges are not well received, of course. Anything that begins with “If I
were you” or “When I was your age” will shut down the conversation. Young
people are convinced that their lives are nothing like what you lived—no matter
what you went through. Instead, listen and ask probing questions. I was
mentoring one young man who seemed to have an addiction to a very damaging kind
of music. I wanted to say, “Why don’t you just turn that junk off?” Instead, I
asked, “When I was growing up, most of the music was veiled references about
wanting to have sex with someone. What is your music about? What draws you to
it? What effect do you think it has on you? How do you think it affects your
soul? How does this music affect your walk with God?” The questions brought
great conviction, and over time, change. Never underestimate the power of a
well-thought-out question to bring the central issues to the surface.
Bless them.
Romans 12:14 (ESV) says, “Bless do not
curse.” A blessing is a prophetic vision of what difference it will make that a
person lives out his or her gifts. I don’t mean anything mystical by this. Just
use your experience of the world, filtered through a biblical lens, to share
with the young person HOW their life matters, and what good could result from
them discovering and living out their God-given design.
One
morning I spoke to a group of young people at Summit Ministries’ Colorado
campus. During the question and answer time a student asked, “What is your
personal vision?” I explained that God has led me to a place where my primary
role is to reconnect the generations so that the older generation can call out,
equip and bless the younger generation, passing the baton of leadership to
them. Tears came to many eyes. It was clear that this was the greatest longing
of these young people.
If
we don’t pass the baton of leadership, who will? Every aspect of society is at
stake in how we answer this question. The great historian Will Durant said,
“From barbarism to civilizations requires a century, from civilization to
barbarism needs but a day.
From
Theory to Practice
You
might call out a young person in different ways over time. But it is always
best to follow-up on this conversation by suggesting a course of action. It
could be as sharing some things you’ve learned. Or it could be asking them
if they would like to read a book and get together to discuss it. Don’t just
let this information stay in the “theory” stage. I challenge you to think
of a young person right now who you would like to call out to greater significance.
And do it!
