A Feminine Crisis

By Diane L. Vaughan

Have you ever noticed all the ‘tough’ female images that manage to crowd their way into our Christian worldview? They peer at us from billboards as we drive around town. They stare at us from magazine covers in the aisles of grocery checkout counters. They come into our homes through the TV. They meet us at the mall in window displays. They appear as Maggie, the dominant female boxer in the movie, Million Dollar Baby.

They are rough, they are gruff, and they kick you-know-what. Their brazen glare and flinty facial expressions reveal defiance and independence. Their story sounds something like this: “Once upon a time I accepted as truth that big girls need no one; that I can take care of myself; that my happiness is what really matters; that my body is my own so don’t get in my way; and that men are merely derelicts in distress needing to be rescued by women.” Sadly under this false pretence, many end up living miserably all alone ever-after.
In today’s world, Christian women are pressured to compromise in their dress and dignity, calling and culture, being stripped of their God-given natural make-up of femininity. They are being told that independent strength is found from within. Subtly, the God-ordained role of the husband’s headship becomes unnecessary. Moreover, the world stereotypes men as weak, irresponsible idiots who can’t lead, anyway. In an attempt to save all that is swirling about in a pool of desperation, Christian women are becoming something they are simply not built to be. The sad result is barren identities, barren homes, and barren wombs.

Indeed, a crisis in femininity has sadly come to many Christian homes and churches. But what is biblical femininity? Would we recognize it if we saw it? And how can we reclaim the femininity that we have lost?

Facing Feminism

If Christian women do not understand a biblical perspective regarding femininity and what it means to be a wife and mother, the secular culture will define it for them. Part of our culture includes the development of modern feminism, a major ungodly influence to many women, including Christian women. Understanding this anti-feminine philosophy will help to define what biblical femininity is not. Consider some of the ideology modern feminism promotes:

* A distortion of biblical truth regarding femininity

* Individual self-glory instead of the promotion of God’s glory

* The notion that femininity is a matter of cultural conditioning

* The essential difference between men and women is merely anatomy; (gender distinction obliteration)

* Reproductive rights including government funded abortion and abortion and birth control for minors without parental consent or notification

* Lesbian rights

* Self-fulfilling career outside of the home

* The devaluing of motherhood and homemaking

The recent TV hit, Desperate Housewives, is a huge example of one way these God-given callings are being undermined. Just the very title of the show leads one to believe that being married and keeping home breeds unhappiness and discontent.

Another example is in a 1990’s issue of Time magazine where the following “10 tough-minded women” were profiled: a police chief, a baseball owner, a rap artist, an AIDS activist, a rock climber, a bishop of a mainstream denomination, a fashion tycoon, a saxophonist, an Indian chief, and a choreographer.

The author of Biblical Womanhood in the Home comments on this particular edition of Time: “Conspicuous by its absence throughout the issue was any recognition given to women who have succeeded in ways not tied to careers—women who have successfully stayed married to the same man or who have succeeded in bringing up children who are making a positive contribution to society. Not surprisingly, no bouquets were handed out to women for being reverent and temperate or modest and chaste or gentle and quiet, for loving their husbands and children, for providing hospitality for acts of kindness, service, and mercy, or for demonstrating compassion for the poor and needy—the kind of success that, according to the Word of God, is what women should aspire to attain (1 Tim. 5:10; Titus 2:3-5).”

Forsaking Feminism

One radical feminist defines femininity as, “ a romantic sentiment, a nostalgic tradition of imposed limitations.” But according to Phyllis Schlafly, author of Feminine Fantasies, it is the modern feminist who is found wanting. She cites various feminists who finally, after chasing a rainbow of lies, reveal their true sentiments to have a husband, babies, domestic tranquility, peace and happiness. In their quest for golden liberation, they have become unhappy, bitter, tired, and bored – links of a chain they are now bound to.

Mrs. Schlafly cites another interesting study by an advertising firm concluding that “…the professional homemaker is a happy woman who feels good about herself and her ability to stick to her decision to remain at home, even under strong societal pressure to find an outside job.” It is this woman who is “feminine and traditional; …not [the] feminist.” In fact, Schlafly continues, “Feminism has nothing to do with being ‘feminine.’ Feminine means accentuating the womanly attributes that make women deliciously different from men.”

To undo our cultural feminine crisis, we must forsake feminism by embracing truth. It is biblical femininity that gives women honor, hope, and freedom. Christian author John Piper agrees and believes that biblical femininity is, “a freeing disposition to affirm, receive, and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman’s differing relationships.” This definition does not impose limitations at all. That is because, as Christ proclaimed, “truth sets us free.”

In Genesis 1:27 and 2:21-22, we see that God made a fully feminine creature. This female gender was not accidental. It was the glorious handiwork of God, the Creator. Simply put, women are born feminine because they are created feminine. This initial seed of truth is fundamental because it shows that women or young girls do not become feminine because they wear a dress, play with a doll or grow up and get married. Although these things may accentuate femininity, the female sex chromosomes are in every cell of a woman’s body. And this is something she cannot change. When we believe in a Creator who brought forth a uniquely formed feminine human being we are forsaking feminist rhetoric.

But another aspect of defining femininity includes possessing qualities generally attributed to a woman. So, what might those qualities include? In Isaiah 66: 9-11 we learn that these would include such things as being life-giving, joyful, nurturing, comforting, peaceful and caring. Recently, when Christian college students were surveyed they mentioned the following traits of femininity: “being emotional, sensitive, motherly, nurturing, caring, and compassionate.” It is not difficult to see that many of these characteristics are the opposite of the ‘tough girl’ images we see around us today. Selfishness, insensitivity, bitterness, and the temptations to dominate and manipulate greatly tarnish the luster of femininity. As we forsake these qualities, biblical femininity will outshine feminism’s fallacy.

Feminine Fulfillment

Though women can give full expression to their femininity before they reach the marriage alter or have babies, it must be observed that the Bible values marriage, motherhood and homemaking as vocations that highly accentuate femininity. These various callings are instituted by God for the promotion of the Gospel and His glory as it is revealed in His design for women. And, of course, that is why these callings are being powerfully attacked by modern feminism.

Nevertheless, marriage, motherhood and homemaking are blessings given by God. Fulfilled women in these stations of life know that their sense of purpose does not come from within, but from God. According to author Beth Impson, these women “understand the value of mothers in their children’s lives and of wives in their husband’s lives. Their family is a gift and a ministry, and even housework -- irksome in its repetitiveness as any job certainly can be -- affords an opportunity to serve others and train children in developing responsibility and a servant attitude. They are servants who find as they serve their families that they become more and more the unique individuals God created them to be.”

Clearly, vocations which bring out a woman’s femininity are being devalued and even ignored in or society. And it is this kind of neglect, even within the Church, that is causing the feminine crisis to escalate. Thus, it is important that family and Church provide godly instruction and encouragement in these areas of life specific to women. When women forsake feminism they will find fulfillment in there God-ordained nature and calling. But if women are not given credence or honor for all that makes them wonderfully feminine, they will be tempted to walk on the carnal path paved by our pagan culture. And the bitter result will be the ongoing barrenness of the feminine crisis.

Diane L. Vaughan is a mother of four and the wife of Dr. David J. Vaughan pastor of Liberty Christian Church in O’Fallon, MO where she serves as the Director of Women’s Ministry. Through her writing and speaking ministries, she addresses women on a variety of issues including: Biblical Modesty, Femininity, and Submission and may be contacted at (636) 240-4412 for speaking engagements. Her new book, The Beauty of Modesty: Cultivating Virtue in the Face of a Vulgar Culture, will be available in May through Cumberland House Publishing at www.cumberlandhouse.com.