The Beauty of Submission

By Diane L. Vaughan

Nathanael, one of Christ’s first disciples, did not think “any good thing could come out of Nazareth.” He needed to be encouraged by another disciple to “come and see.” In many ways, many Christian women today don’t think any good or beautiful thing can come from submission. Like Nathanael, we must be encouraged to “come and see.”

Seeing the beauty of submission in a post-Christian culture is not always easy. Darwin, Freud, secular humanism, the media, Hollywood and the radical feminist movement have done a good job in subverting the biblical concept of submission. They have been quite successful in painting God’s ordained authority structure as something to be distained. With decades of continual reinforcement of the lies that biblical submission holds women as being inferior or second-class citizens or, worst yet, relegates them to a position of slavery, it’s no wonder many women have been discouraged instead of being encouraged to see the beauty of submission.

So where can women who are seeking to understand submission find encouragement? I believe they can “come and see” the beauty of submission in the Word of God, by the example of Christ, and from one wife’s poignant legacy.

“Come and See” God’s Word

In God’s Word, submission is extremely significant and unfolds in practically every relationship. Scripture clearly states that citizens are to submit to government (Rom. 13:1); servants to masters (Tit. 2:9); children to parents (Eph. 6:1-2); wives to husbands (Eph. 5:22); husbands to Christ (1 Cor. 11:3); Christians to one another (Eph. 5:21); church members to elders (1 Pet. 5:5); and Christians to Christ (Eph. 5:24).

In God’s design, submission establishes a specific order or position of authority. For the Christian wife, she is placed under the headship of her husband. His authority is non-abusive, non-tyrannical, and active, in loving servanthood. It is a position of much responsibility.

The position of the wife does not however mean that she has less worth or value. Genesis 1:27 says that both male and female were created in the image of God, and in Christ, share complete equality. The differences lie in the created order and function. The husband’s headship over the wife was grounded in creation. First Corinthians 11:8-9 says that the woman was created from man and for his sake. She was called to be the husband’s helper in Genesis 2:18 and therefore should be an integral part of helping him fulfill the will of God in his life.

Without appropriate biblical authority structure, social chaos would abound. Thus the headship to which we submit is God’s way of bringing protection, peace and provision. All of these things beautify our lives in many ways. P.B. Wilson, author of Liberated Through Submission, tells us that “submission is the pathway God has designed to provide the greatest possible freedom and blessing for every believer.”

“Come and See” Christ’s Example

Close examination of the life of Christ shows that He led a very submissive life. John 8:29 says that Jesus always did the things that pleased His Father. We see His greatest test of submission in the Garden of Gethsemane. There He prayed, “Father, if Thou art willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Thine be done.”

The heart of submission is found in the words, “not My will, but Thine be done.” Yielding one’s will in order to defer to the will of another’s requires self-denial. True submission surrenders one’s own desire without struggle or contention. Had not Christ been submissive to the Father’s will, mankind’s redemption from sin and death would have never happened. The beauty of His submission brought us eternal life and freedom from the chains of sin.

When a wife follows Christ’s example and submits to her husband it will be expressed in both attitude and action. First Peter 3:4 describes this inward attitude as “gentle and meek,” and highly precious to God. Some consider these terms as a sign of weakness. But these terms don’t mean “mousy” or “weak,” notes author Charles Swindoll. Rather, he says they speak of “strength of character, self-control and dignity.” A wife displays submission outwardly by offering respect, honor, kind speech, and tender support to her husband’s ideas and suggestions.

This humble attitude adorns Christian women with Christlikeness. What could be more beautiful than that?

“Come and See” One Wife’s Legacy

Many think of Sarah as the “mother of submission.” First Peter 3:5-6 highlights her submission and encourages women to become her daughters by courageously walking in her footprints. But following Sarah’s example can seem like a formidable task, especially since we tend to place our biblical heroines on heavenly pedestals. Although women in the Bible were just as human as we are, we sometimes have the notion that victory over our own sin is more realistic by following the example of those who walk a little closer to the earth - those who share similar struggles and can identify with our weaknesses. Yet, it is in our weakness that God’s power can be perfected.

For example, I knew an ordinary woman who left a legacy that affords women the opportunity to see the beauty of submission; not because she always passed the tests of submission, but because God has used her weakness as a source of strength in the lives of other women.

Her legacy involved a painful past, which included a debilitating illness. It was epilepsy that required her to wear a protective helmet on her head. Without this helmet she was susceptible to serious head injury when having a seizure.

Unfortunately, the woman didn’t like to wear the helmet and chose not to wear it from time to time which became a constant source of conflict between her and her husband.

One day the wife fell down without the helmet on and as a result, sustained a life-threatening blow to her head, leaving her comatose for the next three years.

This ordinary woman happened to be my mother. As a child, I remember standing by her hospital bed hoping to see her move or speak. But she never woke up. Years later, when God began to speak to me about submission, I reflected on my mother’s legacy. And as I did, I heard her voice once again, encouraging me to “come and see” submission’s beautiful significance.

Misunderstanding the helmet’s true significance obscured my mother’s ability to see its rare beauty. The helmet wasn’t to promote limitation or weakness, but to demonstrate the strength of the protection it provided. The helmet wasn’t meant to bring a sense of shame, but to supply a source of security. And finally, the helmet wasn’t meant to bring contention between husband and wife, but to calm the storm of a potential crisis.

Like my mom’s helmet, biblical submission is a place of grace, a loving subjection designed by God to prevent disorder, confusion and calamity. In Wisdom for Women, the author suggests that “submission should never be understood as something punitive, but as the way Christ has lovingly ordered His people and provided for their needs.” A wife may not always see things the way her husband sees them, but the Lord will honor submission as long as it’s not in violation of His Word. Obedience to God’s Word will always bring blessing and life!

The apostle Paul once encouraged the Ephesians “not to lose heart at his tribulations, for they would be their glory.” Today, my mom is encouraging women “not to lose heart at her tribulations, but to glory in the beauty of submission” as they hear about her legacy. Like all women, she realized she was not perfect. She knew the Good Shepherd and the forgiveness she could find in Him when she was not acting like a daughter of Sarah. In July of 1966 she wrote the following poem entitled, My Prayer. I found it one day among many other poems she had written as I was sorting through some of her things.

With folded hands I knelt in prayer

And felt my Savior listening there.

With heavy heart He heard me pray

That I, His lamb, had gone astray.

With trembling lips He heard my plea;

Oh, dearest Lord, remember me.

Forgive my sins, and grant that I

May better witness till I die.

For You, You gave Your life for me

That I might have new life in Thee.

Oh, dearest Lord, here is my heart!

Oh, Jesus, Thou my Savior art!

This Mother’s Day, I pay tribute to my mother’s legacy, and together with her, encourage women to “come and see” the beauty of submission.

Diane L. Vaughan is a mother of four and the wife of Dr. David J. Vaughan pastor of Liberty Christian Church in O’Fallon, MO where she serves as the Director of Women’s Ministry. Through her writing and speaking ministries, she addresses women on a variety of issues including; biblical modesty, femininity, and submission and may be contacted at (636) 240-4412 for speaking engagements.