Why Women Abort Their
Children
By Glenda Stephens
 |
At
Birthright we, like many other life-affirming agencies around the area,
are committed to changing the minds and hearts of abortion-minded woman
and are committed to saving as many babies as possible. At Birthright,
unlike the abortion clinics, we offer real “Choices” as alternatives to
abortion by providing pregnancy testing, professional counseling, referrals,
doctor and medical care, ultrasounds, baby items and furniture, financial
help, sometime even tuition assistance, all at no cost – thanks to the
generosity of donors. There are six Birthright offices in the St. Louis
area that have been providing such care for more than 30 years and countless
children have been saved as a result. |
Reason 1: "The time isn’t right."
What does this mean? What is going on
in her life to define the problem as a matter of “timing”? It's easy to
be judgmental and want to ask if she knew sexual intercourse could produce a
pregnancy or point out the obvious selfishness of her statement when we really
don't know what's going on in her mind. Since a child has already been
conceived, we begin by reminding her that many things in life are
"untimely" and things change and that she really needs to take the
time to consider what she‘s contemplating and most importantly how can we help
her. We also try to set her mind on the new life she is carrying and
attempt to try to get her to open up as to why the time is not right. We
prayerfully remind ourselves how "untimely" our Savior's conception
appeared to be at the time!
Reason 2: "I can't afford a baby."
This can be very a difficult reason to deal
with especially if she already has a child or two and has been abandoned by
their father/fathers. To her it's just a repeat cycle and she knows what is
coming. Sadly, this is often reality. At Birthright we can help financially.
We can't possibly change her world but we can work with her to better the world
in which she will bring her child into. Sometimes the financial concerns
are huge and we can help her with budgeting, long-range financial goals and temporary
assistance. We have many pro-life doctors and hospitals that provide free care
for us to offer as well. Sometimes income supplementation is needed while she
is on maternity leave. The problems are as many as there are clients; we
just realize this is a major concern and with the contributions from pro-life
supporters, we are able to help.
Reason 3: "I'm too young."
Obviously we can't add years to her age,
but we can counsel her support system into helping her and giving her various
referrals that can provide services now and when the baby is born. Maybe
she's afraid to tell her parents and this can and should be devastating! But
how much more devastating will it be if years from now the parents were to find
out their grandchild was aborted because their daughter was afraid to come to
them? We try to get her to think long-range of the consequences for the
decisions she makes today. It's tempting, especially for the younger
woman, to abort quickly and think she will forget what she did! It's been
our experience that women never forget the child they abort. It's been
said that a woman may abort the child from her womb but never from her mind.
Reason 4: "I'm not sure who the
father of the baby might be."
As shocking as this may sound to some of us
that have been married for decades, this is a frequent response. Didn't I
suggest that our young women are products of this culture of free sex, no
commitments, anything goes type of lifestyle? It's important to discuss
the value of HER baby being formed in her womb right now. It's also
important to stress her responsibility to her baby's life. After all, as
trite as it sounds, we know for sure that it's HER baby!
Reason 5: "My husband/boyfriend
wants me to abort."
It still amazes me every time I hear this
excuse that in the second generation of "women's liberation" an
abundance of women still seek the approval of men at the expense of their own
ideals. We remind her of the reality that it will be her who will sign the
abortion consent form; it will be her who will be crawling up upon the
abortionist's table and it will be her who will be primarily responsible for
knowingly taking the life of her own child. Of course the father has a
moral responsibility as well, but he will rest in the knowledge that it was she
that allowed this to happen. Statistics show that most of the time a
relationship is broken after having an abortion. My guess is whether
consciously or unconsciously it would be very difficult to have a loving,
physical, trusting relationship with someone who has talked you into destroying
the life you made with each other.
Conclusion
When I wrote this, I didn't intend to make
our remedies sound like a formula, because each and every woman that comes
through our doors has a unique set of problems. These are just examples of what
we deal with everyday in our centers. At times I sit in awe and admiration of
the brave women we speak with that choose to carry their babies to term against
all worldly odds. Humbly I pray that I would have had the same amount of
courage they portray.
Basically it's been my experience that if woman
is intent upon aborting her child there is nothing Birthright can do. We are
dealing with free-will here. However, if she has the smallest amount of indecision
I ask the Lord to reveal that to me, give me wisdom to help her to decide to
carry to term. When an abortion-minded woman comes to us I see her with a
balance scale. She may be weighing a small amount in favor of abortion;
it's our job with God's help to tip the scales in favor of life. I may ask her if I had a magic wand what
would it take for her to carry to term and this sometimes helps to define the
problems and how we can help with solutions.
Most of the time, with God's grace, we do
succeed! Of course there are also the heartbreaking times. Times when after
all we have done to try to dissuade a woman from aborting her child she aborts
anyway. In those times all we can do is to pray for that woman and pray that
the Lord will one day open her eyes to the fact that aborting a child is wrong.
We do what we do because of Christ‘s great
love for us. We know countless babies are alive today, growing up and some even
having babies of their own because God saw fit for that mother to come to our
office! It is truly a blessing to serve the Lord in this capacity and we
thank Him for allowing us to do so, every single day.