October is Pastor Appreciation Month;

Show Him and His Family You Care

Publisher’s Note…

Not long ago, I received an anonymous letter from a pastor’s wife that really made me stop and think. It prompted me to contemplate the trials, tribulations, and sacrifices my own pastor and his family must face. Most of us are usually so caught up in our own little worlds that we never stop to consider what it must be like for those who are called to serve the Lord. With October being Pastor Appreciation Month, I thought it would be fitting to share her letter with you. Read it. Think about your own pastor and his family. I would encourage you to take the time, not just during the month of October, but year around and let your pastor and his family know how much you appreciate them and their sacrificial service.

Letter from a Pastor’s Wife

I’m afraid I’m not much of a writer so please, if you feel the Spirit move you to print this, feel free to edit it as you please.

It has been said that being a pastor’s wife is one of the hardest jobs in the world. I've heard this many times over, from several different sources. I’ve heard it from my own pastor-husband, from dear friends and read it in a number of Christian books, and magazines.

As I thought about this, I realized their observations come from the outside looking in. I've never really taken the time think about why they've concluded that the life of a pastor’s wife is so difficult until recently?

From my perspective I agree that it is a difficult station in life. Not because of whom she is or what she does, but because of whom she is married to and what he is called to do.

It's really the life of a pastor that is difficult and it's the pastor’s wife who understands this only too well. From my perspective there are many things that make the call of the pastorate a difficult path.

For starters, there's the continual concern for the spiritual condition of his flock. A true shepherd tending God’s flock feels this responsibility and does not take the call lightly. His desire is to see the souls of the saints prosper in the things of God. Victorious holy living by the power of the Holy Spirit emboldens a church to fulfill the Great Commission.

Sadly, sin often finds its way into the church and must be dealt with. For the pastor who sees the sin that nobody else sees; who must maintain confidentiality or implement church discipline, the burden is heavy. In his hope to restore the one in sin, he realizes that his counsel may be rejected; he may be slandered in the process and eventually be seen as a harsh, insensitive enemy by the one he attempts to help. The pastor’s wife sees all of this and the amount of time her husband invests in people. She sees how easy it is for people to claim the pastor is uncaring when he confronts their sin head on and draws a line in the sand. But there is consolation in knowing that Paul also appeared as an enemy when he spoke the truth in love to the Galatians.

Secondly, part of the process of seeing the church’s soul prosper is to work hard at teaching and preaching the Word. Any diligent student knows how laborious the art of serious study can be. It takes discipline and sacrifice to sit in solitude and prepare an edifying message week after week. Yet, many come to hear the message only when it conveniently fits their schedule or feel they have a need. For the most part, God’s people have developed a consumer mentality about church attendance. Commitment, responsibility, and sacrifice seem to have fallen by the wayside for many. How encouraging it would be for the pastor to know he had sheep who sang as King David sang in Psalm 122, “I was glad when they said to me let us go to the house of the Lord.” What pastor would not rejoice to know that as he has covenanted to serve a local assembly of God’s people, they likewise have covenanted to each another for mutual accountability, to corporate worship, and hearing of the Word? Blessed is the pastor whose flock forsakes not the gathering of itself together as Hebrews 10 testifies.

Last, but not least, is the fact that many pastors are simply serving overtime most of the time. A true pastor understands that his life is one of service. He is regularly laying down his life for others. Unfortunately in doing so, sometimes his own life, and his family’s lives, may go on hold. Individual and family leisure time is scarce while common household maintenance is unintentionally put off. Most families who are called to true full-time ministry just acclimate to this kind of life without complaint. It is understood that sacrifice is part of the package, but pastors and their families are not invincible creatures. They are human, hence fallen just like any other sheep, so they grow weary and occasionally suffer burn out.

The common cliché says that the pastor and his family live in a glass house. But who really sees all that the pastor does? Of course, his wife does. Since most people don’t see all he does, most don’t realize his need or his family’s need for a little R & R from time to time. But his wife does see her husband’s need to take time off. She sees his fatigue when no one else notices, as well as his full plate. She sees the stress in his face, the discouragement in his sigh, and she hopes someone else will notice, too. She thinks how wonderful it would be if every now and then someone would just call her husband to see how he is doing or to do something fun and relaxing with him. Though many reasons may be cited as to why the pastor lacks rest and reprieve, it should be realized and remedied. The church should bless their spiritual leaders by urging them to take time off, then granting permission.

As a pastor’s wife I understand that I am a blessed wife. It is a privilege to be married to a man that has been given the mantle of ministry to wear as his sole occupation. Though the call is great and the responsibility is greater, the grace of God is abundant for the pastor and his family. Nonetheless, we desire to be understood. We are just trying to be faithful to God’s call on our life, knowing one day we shall give an account for it. We realize that we are not perfect and will make mistakes along the way. Your patience and reproof are an ointment for our souls. And though we may not show it, we need your unconditional love, encouragement, and appreciation from time to time.

May the Lord, Jesus Christ, receive all the glory, praise and worship in all that we do for His sake.