The Federal Father or Why Dad is "The Boss"
One of the great losses of modern Evangelicalism is the loss of covenantal thinking, and as a result, a decline in the covenantal institution of the family. Those bred in the Reformed tradition will recognize that the term “federal” is taken from the Latin foedus, which means “compact,” “league” or “covenant.” Thus, when we speak of the federal father, we are talking about the father as the “covenantal head” of his household.
A Word of Warning
The importance of this covenantal notion of headship will become clear as I proceed, yet a caveat is in order here. In discussing male headship we must avoid certain errors.
The first error is feminism or egalitarianism, which hates “patriarchy” and denies any role distinctions between husband and wife. Feminism argues that gender distinctions are socially constructed, and more importantly, that male leadership (patriarchy) is by definition demeaning and oppressive to women. Therefore, feminism is at war with what we today call the traditional nuclear family. That war, however, began a long time ago. In fact, feminism is simply a modern manifestation of nineteenth century Marxist socialism. Marx and Engels were quite clear in their writings that in order to abolish private property – one of their main economic goals – the patriarchal family structure had to be dismantled, since the family was seen as the primary trustee of private (family) property. Feminism is not, therefore, a Christian option.
Secondly, we must avoid the error of male chauvinism, which suggests that men, simply by virtue of their gender, are superior to women. The Bible, I argue, teaches no such doctrine. Men are not superior to women, nor does the Bible give men the right to mistreat their wives or children. And while the Bible does teach submission to covenantal headship, that submission is neither demeaning nor degrading.
The modern Evangelical church can easily fall prey to either of these two errors. It can, and often does, adopt a feminist mentality and ignore or downplay the biblical teaching of headship and submission. Men have regularly told me that they have been in church their entire adult life and have never heard an honest exposition of the cardinal texts on covenantal headship.
Yet conversely, there are some Evangelicals, especially in the home school movement, who are espousing a brand of patriarchy that more resembles male chauvinism than covenantal headship. This version of headship limits women from using their God-given gifts in ministry, confines women to bed and board, and becomes a psuedo-biblical justification for misogyny (a hatred of women). And it is this perversion of the biblical ideal that has fueled the feminist hatred of Christianity. As feminist Robin Morgan has said: “Every organized patriarchal religion works overtime to contribute its own brand of misogyny.”
Sadly this is too often true – even in the Evangelical church. For a man to mistreat his wife or children is inexcusable; but to do so in “the name of God” is damnable. And any man who cloaks his cruelty in the Word of God is worse than a coward and a knave; he is an infidel. Under no circumstances should the biblical teaching on covenantal (male) headship be used to excuse tyranny, cruelty or abuse.
Covenant and Headship
Douglas Wilson gives a simple definition
of covenant: “A covenant is a solemn bond, sovereignly administered, with
attendant blessings and cursings.” Or,
to quote Charles Hodge: “A covenant is simply a promise suspended upon a condition.”
True, but the condition implies success or failure, blessing or cursing.
Throughout
the Bible, we see many different covenants: the Noahic (Gen. 9), the Abrahamic
(Gen. 12), the Mosaic (Ex. 20), the Davidic (II Sam.
7). But there are two over-arching
covenants that encompass the rest: the Covenant of Works and the Covenant
of Grace.
The Covenant of Works may also be
called the Adamic Covenant because it was made with Adam. Significantly, however, this covenant was
made with Adam not as an individual, but as the representative or federal head
of the human race. As the federal head
of the race, Adam acted for all men; thus, his fall became the ruin of all
(Rom.
The Covenant of Grace was made with
Christ, the new head of the human race, who is also called the Second Adam (I Cor.
Covenant and Marriage
So, what does all this have to do with marriage? Simply this: the marriage relationship is a covenantal relationship, and hence also has, like the other covenants, a head or representative. This is clearly taught in Ephesians 5 where the relation between husband and wife is compared to the relation between Christ and the Church. The husband is head of the wife. Yet his headship is like Christ’s headship over the Church. In other words, the husband’s headship is covenantal or federal.
The first application to marriage is that the wife is to submit herself to her own husband. Note that Paul addresses the “wife” and not simply the “woman.” The Bible does not require all women to be in submission to all men. Rather, the wife is subject to her own husband – and she is subject to him, not because he is a man, but because he is her covenantal head. Put another way, she is able to honor her husband because she recognizes that he holds a God-ordained office of position. Being a “husband” is not simply a relation; it is a covenantal office. Thus, a godly wife acknowledges this and submits to the claims of the husband’s office, much in the same way she would submit to the office of a pastor or magistrate.
A second application applies to husbandly responsibility. In the Bible, headship is never an excuse for self-gratification, oppression or abuse. Instead, headship brings responsibility: “Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.” In the Christian home the father is ultimately responsible for everything that transpires there. Douglas Wilson put the matter like this:
"One of the most difficult things for modern men to understand is how they are responsible for their wives. Men come into pastoral marriage counseling sessions with the assumption that 'She has her problems and I have mine,' and the counselor is there to help us split the difference. But the husband is responsible for all the problems. This is the case if for no other reason than he is the husband.
"This does not mean the wife has no personal responsibility as an individual before God. She certainly does, just as her husband has individual responsibilities…But he remains the head, just as Christ as the Head assumed all the responsibilities for all the sins of all His people, so the husband is to assume covenant responsibility for the state of his marriage. If a husband says he objects to this because it is not fair for him to be held responsible of the failings of another, he is really saying he objects to the Gospel. It was not fair for Christ to assume responsibility for our sins either. But while it may not have been fair as we define it, it was nevertheless just and merciful."
Thus, covenantal
headship is the biblical model for the Christian home and marriage.
The father is the head of his household, and this means that he must
bear the burden of seeing that his wife and children are growing in grace
and sanctification. Therefore, he will first of all be the prophet
of his home. He will speak the Word
of God to his family. As the family
theologian, he will teach his wife and children the Word and ways of God.
Secondly,
he will be the priest of his home. Like
Christ intercedes for his Church, so the godly husband intercedes for his
family, confessing their sins and praying for their prosperity.
And finally, the federal father will be the king of his home. He will exercise brave and godly leadership
for the benefit of his family. His
strength will be the strength of guidance, protection and support. He rules, not with a rod of iron, but with a
rod that was hewn from the
The reformation of the family, so sorely needed in our day, will come when we once again return to the biblical understanding of covenantal headship. And when Dads begin to live out their covenantal calling, their wives and children will be proud to call them “boss.”
Dr. David Vaughan is the pastor of Liberty Christian Church in O'Fallon, MO, an accomplished author (his books can be found on Amazon.com), one of the hosts of the talk show Encounter heard on Christian Radio Station KSIV AM 1320 and Consulting Editor for the St. Louis MetroVoice.