Motherhood—Seasoned With Grace

By Diane L. Vaughan

Motherhood is one of life’s most incredible experiences and richest blessings from God. It has a way of bringing out both the best and the worst in a woman. Like the opening of Pandora’s box, motherhood affords us with ample opportunity to see a host of ills which plague the human heart. Things such as impatience, selfishness, unkindness and criticism may all be revealed somewhere along motherhood’s taxing journey.

Yet, for the Christian mother, hope exists as it also did in the bottom of the box from that timeless myth of long ago. Yes, hope for Christian mothers will always be there because God will always be there.

This hope for motherhood lies partly in our knowledge of a gracious heavenly Father. As His mercy and grace bring humility and holiness to our lives, we see our mothering ability at its best. Our love becomes unconditional, our tongue gentle and our actions full of tenderness and grace.

After 30 years of parenting, author Susan Hunt humbly says the one thing she has learned about raising children is how much she doesn’t know. She admits that in her youthful arrogance she was sure she knew how to create a model Christian home. It wasn’t until many years later she realized that, despite their well-behaved and well-dressed children who could recite numerous Bible verses on command, their “formulas were hollow and mechanical.” Their approach to raising children included “plans and platitudes” even “sprinkled with Scripture,” but they were not “seasoned with grace.”

Apparently, the hope for successful mothering according to God’s way includes a certain measure of grace. How then can mothers make sure this essential and divine quality is woven into their nesting habitation?

Recognition of God’s Calling

A great place to begin is to acknowledge the divine establishment of the family unit. The family institution was created by God and for God. God established marriage, then commanded Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply. Adam and Eve did not have an earthly father and mother but they became a father and mother. We see then that both fatherhood and motherhood are the design of God.

When God opens the womb of woman, He also opens the door for the birth of a mother. Having children and thus becoming a mother is not a human invention, as evolutionists would like us to think. Nor is mothering unfulfilling and unimportant as the feminist regime would like us to believe. How could any divine calling be without significance and purpose?

Motherhood should be viewed as a God-ordained position with God-given responsibilities. Pride and self-sufficiency in the heart of a mother can and should be molded into humility and dependency upon God. A mother understanding both the position and duties of motherhood, when accepted and lived out in the fear of the Lord, knows that a day of accountability is sure to come. Such accountability to the designer of motherhood should stir mothers to loving actions and good deeds towards their children. Yet, how many children suffer even in Christian homes without anyone knowing. Certainly though, God knows and will some day call those mothers to account.

A mother will make a way to season her home with grace as she sees God’s imprint of design and accountability upon her calling.

Maintenance of Marital Union

Another way to bring grace to the home is to maintain biblical unity in marriage. This is very important if we desire to see our homes as sweet sanctuaries instead of bitter battlegrounds.

The dismal forecast our post-Christian culture presents to our children is cause enough to provide for them at least a safe haven in our homes. Yet, by and large, we continue to see Christian homes crumble around us. Untended marriages are leaving a wake of tension and strife and our children are not oblivious to, nor unaffected by, the underlying tumultuous waves.

In Your Home - A Place of Grace, Susan Hunt believes this is where the rubber meets the road. “If home is going to be a place of grace,” she writes, “all roads lead to the marriage.”

Of course, you can not discuss biblical marriage without mentioning headship and submission. Both play a significant part in achieving oneness in marriage. Thus, it is important for mothers to understand both covenant headship and biblical submission.

Headship according to God’s Word is loving leadership in which a husband puts the good of his wife and children above himself, humbly serving his family as he leads them according to biblical principles. The husband's exercise of leadership does not reflect tyrannical oppression, domination or even passivity. Rather, his position is divinely established and as Christ actively loves the Church and lays down His life for her, the husband does likewise for his wife and family.

Biblical submission on the other hand voluntarily and willingly defers to the leading of another. It has nothing to do with intrinsic value or worth, for men and women are indeed created equal. However, submission does relate to order or position and function, especially in the context of marriage. Positionally, the Bible says that the husband is the head of his wife. Thus functionally, the wife is to submit to her head. Mrs. Hunt describes this duty by stating that “the wellspring of submission is humility before God and a heart that joyfully accepts familial order for the sake of God’s glory.”

For the sake of unity and God’s glory, a wife should even submit in those areas where there is disagreement. However, a wife should never submit to sin. Questionable cases where sin may or may not be present may be appealed by the wife to other governing authorities such as church elders or civil institutions. God in His grace offers these objective avenues whereby righteous judgment and accountability can be given. But if sin is not involved, wives must understand that it is possible to disagree in a submissive and respectful manner.

Obviously, God has unity in mind when He created order to the marital relationship. Has He not said, “I hate divorce” through the prophet Micah? All mothers should therefore strive to be unified with their husbands. This kind of marriage lived out before children will do more to mold godly character in them than all the rules forced upon them combined. Season your home with grace then by remembering the words of a 19^th century preacher who said, “Marriage can never be guarded with too much solicitous vigilance.”

Reliance on the Means of Grace

It has been said time and again that motherhood is the toughest job in the world. If this is true, then mothering God’s way is an impossible task in our own strength. Herein lies the secret to mothering with grace. Mothers must move beyond their fleshly resolve and into the realm of God’s grace.

Through the ages God has provided mothers with the means of grace to receive blessings in abundance. The means of grace include God’s Word, His Spirit, prayer and the Church. They transcend time and place and empower us to live a life that glorifies God.

Mothers must be students of God’s Word where application is demonstrated first and foremost in the home. The Spirit of God teaches, guides, comforts and produces godly fruit in a mother’s character. A mother who yields to the process of sanctification by the Spirit will be a cup of grace flooding every room in the house.

Prayer draws the mother nearer to the presence of God. Gently she will be reminded of her sinful state and drink in God’s grace and mercy. As she has received from God, she will in turn give to her children, and they will be the richer for it.

The Church, God’s household of faith, is the context in which the individual Christian family exists. There is support, help, accountability and protection for fathers and mothers in the local assembly. Family individualism that detaches itself from God’s covenant community of believers is not healthy. Isolation moves a family away from one of the means of grace God provides. Families that separate from His body separate from Him, for He is the head of His body.

Mothers nesting grace within their home must fly frequently, with her flock, to gather with the saints for corporate worship and hearing of the Word. The Church, as well as the other means of grace, are gifts sent from above to better equip the Christian mother.

Conclusion

In the book, The Home at Greylock, written by Elizabeth Prentiss, a young father has a serious conversation with his mother about his daughter. He regrets to admit “it is provoking to see one’s faults repeated in one’s child,” but reassures his mother that they will keep her in line. The mother opens her mouth in wisdom and concludes with these words, “...be cautious..., part with all pride and self-reliance, and rely on Divine strength alone.” The father was impressed with the words of his dear mother and after relaying them to his wife they resolved to reconstruct their domestic life. And day-by-day as their daughter learned obedience, they were learning to grace their home with both humility and self-control.

Seasoning your motherhood with grace is the right thing to do. Adding key ingredients as recognizing your calling, knowing you’re accountable, keeping unity in the marriage and embracing the means of grace are all part of the recipe God intends for successful motherhood.

Diane L. Vaughan is a Pastor’s wife and home schooling mother of four. With God’s help, she is on a mission to season her home with much grace.